When the Fires of Beltane Meet the Fires of Venus
Christina “slavette” Parker

There are times in my life when I feel that everything I do, everything I say, and everything going on around me is exactly what it should be. When I arrived for the Fires of Venus ritual at the Free Spirit Alliance’s Beltane event in May, I knew this was definitely one of those times. I could feel that I was about to participate in something different, something special. This was not simply a teaser for the full Fires of Venus event held in September that combines sacred sexuality with fire circle rituals. This was an opportunity for me to connect with the Divine - a chance to serve, a chance to heal, and possibly discover/find? a beacon to guide me on my path.

The ritual itself wasn’t a simple celebration of Venus; it set in motion a spell to bring Venus (love in all of its many forms) more fully into our lives. Circled around a flickering bonfire and held within a ring of glowing torches, perhaps a hundred people gathered for an evening of drumming, dancing, chanting, singing, sex, and SM to raise and sustain a sacred, sensual energy for several hours.

There were two main ingredients for the spell: Sacrifice and Gratitude. Every person was invited to commit to a specific personal sacrifice and to acknowledge their gratitude for the blessings in their lives. Paper and pencils were available for us to write down our “ingredients,” which we took to the Cauldron of Venus where they were “stirred” with the others to begin the spell. The papers are being saved and will be used to light the first fire—and bring our spell to fruition—in September at the Fires of Venus event.

On the surface, it seemed to be a simple, straight-forward spell and ritual. In practice, it was a lot more complicated than that. This was not a ritual of quiet introspection, although that did occur at times within the quiet seclusion of the temple canopies. This was a communal effort where each person was called upon to participate as an individual and also be present and add their energy to the group as a whole.

I take an active role in my partnership with the Divine. When I have a need, the Universe will provide the opportunity to fill it but I know that it is up to me to do the work. I felt a need to serve and this was a wonderful opportunity to meet that need. So, earlier in the day I volunteered to help with the ritual but I still had a need for healing and guidance. I didn’t know how I’d find those things but I knew that doing the work for the spell was good place to start my search.

I began my work with a visit to the Temple of Gratitude, where a Priestess and a Priest were available to help people both give and receive thanks. I looked into the eyes of the Priestess and shared my gratitude for my friends, my family (biological and chosen), and for the opportunities in my life – those I have now and those that will come in the future. I knew as she blessed my words as a Priestess, she could also bear witness as a person to their truth through our shared experiences.

When accepting gratitude from the Priest who kissed my feet, I felt humbled but empowered on a very personal level since I had performed that same act for him a few weeks prior to that night (and he’s one of only three people ever to receive that gesture from me).

Although I made time to do my own spell work, my main focus was on fulfilling the commitment I’d made to serve during the ritual. So, after visiting the Temple of Gratitude I spent some time roaming the fire circle to assist with some behind-the-scenes logistics. Unfortunately, I had not anticipated my own personal emotional and spiritual turmoil—unrelated to the ritual—that cropped up next. I don’t like not having control over my emotions, and I really don’t like asking anyone for help, but I was teetering on the brink of an emotional crisis. Given time and space, I can usually talk myself down from the ledge before I fall, but I didn’t have that luxury. I knew I had to find help quickly.

Fortunately, as soon as I began to panic, I saw the exact right person to help me. Although I don’t know him well, I have an emotional connection with Orien, the man who carved a wooden statue of Venus for last fall’s Fires of Venus event. When I saw him, I knew someone in the Universe was looking out for me because I didn’t feel any reservations about asking for his help.

I thought all I needed was a quick, reassuring hug, a band-aid to get me on my feet again, but he didn’t let me settle for that. He took me into the enclosed canopy behind the altar to Venus so we could have some privacy. I can’t remember anything we said, I just remember hugging him and soaking in his energy. When I told him I was ready to go back out, he told me that he wanted me to walk with him around the fire three times and then he’d be satisfied that I was okay. As we walked, something he said made the cogs in my head shift into place and I knew without a doubt what I had to give up as my sacrifice for the spell.

Expressing my gratitude earlier in the evening had allowed me to acknowledge things that I had been blocking out of my life because of past pains. While it was important for me to be grateful for what I had, it was also important for me to acknowledge those past pains. The sacrifice that I now knew I had to make was the armor I’d built to protect myself from feeling that grief.

There was a time when I needed that armor for emotional survival. But now, I was holding on to it because of my fears and my pride. To move forward spiritually and emotionally, I had to remove that block and give myself permission to grieve my losses and feel the pain of them. The armor was cutting me off from a part of myself and not allowing me to be “whole”.

A Priest and nun were on hand at the Temple of Sacrifice to assist anyone who wanted to symbolize their sacrifice with a physical act, such as cutting a piece of hair or having one hand bound for the evening. As I stated my intentions to the Priest of Sacrifice, I knew that he blessed my sacrifice as a priest and I felt comforted by his personal acknowledgement of our common experiences – words of explanation were unnecessary to have understanding and respect evident between us.

Just as the right person was there when I needed help, the connections I feel with the people who facilitated the spell working were exactly in line with the functions they performed. I felt the presence of the Divine flowing through me and around me as every encounter held power and meaning for me that night.

While the “official ritual” lasted a few hours, the energy and sacred space remained in place until after the sun came up the next morning. It took a while and required more personal work and reflection after the official ritual, but I met my objectives as well as received the guidance I sought.

As for the spell that I cast to bring love and Venus into my life, it has proved to be much more powerful than I anticipated and the effects began to manifest immediately. However, it is a work in progress – it’s been an interesting ride so far and I’m sure I’ll have quite a tale to tell when the spell is completed. If you want to see how it ends and hear that tale, meet me at Fires of Venus in September for some show and tell.